Where does the heartache go if you don't let it out?
"It doesn't disappear. It simply bides its time, patiently at first then urgently, like a caged animal pacing behind bars." (Quote by Dr. Alan D. Wolfert)
One of the many reasons that I am passionate about normalizing grief and loss is that I have coached waaayyyy too many people who have attempted to bypass loss and grief (of various kinds, not necessarily death, but including death) - and the non-acknowledgement, suppression or ignoring of grief, pain and loss has truly harmed their leadership capacity in really sad ways.
Grief and loss is common to ALL humans.
May we please normalize this experience in our work and life culture?
May we please normalize grief and loss conversation?
May we please bravely walk the journey of befriending grief rather than choosing to bypass it? (It's painful, I know. Believe me, I..
I invite, urge, encourage, and implore you to ignore cultural stigma or messaging around taking good care of your mind. Your mind-body-brain connection is 100% worth your time with a therapist, coach or counsellor.
One hour a week, or a bi-weekly priority with a professional (who is not personally attached to your agenda, but is trained to hold your values and be a co-equal strategic partner with you) can literally make the difference in your presence, peace and meaningful contributions and purpose.
Lead yourself well in ways that will make a difference in you and through you on measurable levels of impact, influence and inspiration.
Lead yourself well.
You are here. And that is everything.
Here. Now. It's all we have.
Inspirational goals.
Fantastic strategies.
Outstanding carefully crafted OKRs.
Impressive intentions.
A mix of awesome and non-awesome past experiences.
A bunch of less-than-ideal experiences stuffed away, hoping they don't surface.
A hurried life of grief, loss and painful experiences that still inform the possibilities of a not-so-great future.
A pile of medals that promise success in every future endeavour. (I mean, what could possibly go wrong?)
Being misunderstood.
Not seen. Not heard. Not valued for your values.
All the things....that take us to the past and project us to the future.
What if... you chose to work on the habit of being present most of the time (maybe 85% of the time is too lofty and unreachable)? What if....?
What might you notice?
(I notice the difficulty of this habit!)
How might that influence the capacity to lead yourself wisely and well even in the most complex, difficult situations?
Lead yourself well.
Ruminating on what has already happened?
Projecting what will (may) happen in the future?
Hamster wheel thinking. Round and round. Hour after hour. Day after day.
Your body and brain believe they are in the present of whatever time travel your mind is currently activating.
Come back to present. Feel your feet on the ground. Breathe in the air right now. Drop your shoulders. Soften your facial muscles. Because it's hard to lead yourself well in the present if you are not often here.
Bonus: your colleagues, your family and your friends will appreciate you being right here, right now.
Lead yourself well.
